Writings

@ 8:42 PM
I'm pretty drunk right now, and I say that while I've felt chest pains throughout the day. It all started when I had 3 eggs and a slice of toast for breakfast. I've had eggs and toast for breakfast countless times, but to make me feel some sort of heartburn? Uncalled for. I'm pretty sure that I have never felt heartburn after eating something like this. I could be experiencing something like illness anxiety, but I don't know... I'm scared. It's funny how we can develop an addiction for something that isn't symbiotic to us. Alcohol does not survive solely due to us. It's a substance present due to natural cycles of fermentation for the most part; but like tobacco or marijuanna, our enjoyment of it has resulted in our abuse of it. For some people. Now I'm sitting here (potentially) over-analyzing how I feel, but the "overt" part of that could become a sensible worry at some point. My body won't maintain its efficiency forever. At twenty-five-years-old, anything could throw itself upon me, even ailments like arthritis could become apparent. I've had moments of mortality in front of my face before, but not something that could potentially kill me. I don't want to run out of time. I love everyone present in my life. If you're reading this: I love you.

Tuesday, July 8, 2025 @ 4:22 AM
I have work in the next hour. I hope nothing comes out of me calling off yesterday. It's probably the soonest I've ever called out again in the past 90 days. I'll typically wait some months before calling off if I've just done so. I mean, I can't remember the last time I called off, but I know it was sometime mid June. I'm a disappointment at work, probably. At least I can find peace knowing that today is a short day, so I'm sure the time will fly by. After work today, I have an electrolysis appointment. The best part is that it's my last session for the next couple of weeks. It'll be nice to have the time away from it. Let my skin heal, and maybe even be able to use some AHA on it for once. I'm kind of rambling now. This is where I'll call it quits.

@ 9:37 PM
Okay. Things seem settled in now. I can go to sleep content, for now. I hope someone will appreciate the direction I've taken things so far. Good night.

Monday, July 7, 2025 @ 9:04 PM
I'm really happy with the work that I've put into my site today. Otherwise, I feel I wasted the day for the most part. I don't know what came over me last night to drink that much. I couldn't handle the thought of going to work today. A lot of people are pushing me to go back to school, but I don't think I'd be able to keep all of my bills & debts paid and simultaneously reducing my availability at work. I get paid in a couple of days, and I still have twenty-something bucks in my account. I'm usually two-hundred in the negative, so that's definitely an improvement. I need to get better. In regard to a lot of things. I'm hoping this website can be a tool in that. Baby steps. Baby steps...